This doesn’t feel real. It feels like I should be able to wait a little longer and see your name pop up again, like nothing ever changed. But the silence keeps proving otherwise.
You weren’t just part of MCAR — you were the feeling of it. The reason it felt warm, alive, worth coming back to. And now that you’re gone, it’s like something essential has been taken out… like a light no one knows how to turn back on.
It’s the small things that hurt the most. The conversations we didn’t think twice about. The moments we assumed would just keep happening. I didn’t realize those were the things I’d end up grieving.
And Karbz… what you two had wasn’t vague or imagined. You were lovers. Not just emotionally, but physically — something real, intimate, and undeniable. That kind of connection doesn’t disappear without leaving a scar behind.
There’s this awful emptiness now, where you used to be so effortlessly present. And no matter how much time passes, I don’t think that space will ever really close.
I wish I had said more while you were still here.
Goodbye, Leonte.
It hurts that you’re gone.
— MCAR community
